Someone very dear to me was asking me how she could learn to trust people again. And that got me thinking, do I trust people enough? My guess is that not many people can trust another person 100%, other than perhaps a very young child – a naive child who would trust another person readily with no second thoughts.

I have people in my life that I can trust to help me out of bad situations. I also have people in my life that I can trust to share secrets with. I trust that people do not purposely do things to harm me, or at least, do their best to avoid it. I also trust most of what people share with me. I trust that most people are basically good and want to do the ‘right thing’.

However, our opinion of the ‘right thing’ might be completely different from others' opinion of it. Therefore, how can I possibly be too disappointed when they betray my trust, as in their opinion, they may not have violated their definition of trust at all.

There are people that I care a great deal for but whom I do not trust completely. How can we trust someone with the deepest and dearest parts of us when they too are human and have their own life situations pressing them?

A good example of this might be, if you are in a relationship and your partner two-timed you or ditched you for your best friend. That is a strong violation of trust, however, again, we are all human and sometimes we do blatantly stupid things – things that hurt other people, even when that was the farthest thing from our minds when we did it.

So what then? Do we refuse to trust them again, hold it over their heads for the rest of our lives, or run away vowing never to love again?

I guess that depends upon the people involved and the actual events. But it really boils down to what you want to do. I don't believe any of these things are better than the other but some are healthier for our hearts than others.

In my past, I have been cheated on, as many people have. I have also been the cheater. Did I do it because I was weak? Or was it simply my way of sabotaging something that should have ended a long time ago? Either way, I have probably dented someone's ability to trust.

What I'm saying is that we simply can't expect more from someone than we are capable of giving ourselves, and none of us have clean hands – even though I'd like to convince myself that I do but I know better.

So who do we trust? How much should we trust? Why must we trust at all?

I believe we must trust people to one degree or another or we'll all go mad. We need friends, confidantes and sometimes just someone we feel safe to lean on. If we don't trust anyone, we live a life of paranoia and fear, and who wants that?

So we must put our hearts out every now and then and just hope that it doesn't come back too tattered. Even when we do it correctly, sometimes it still comes back a little bruised but we know we'll get by. Why? Because the key to trusting somebody is to trust ourselves. Trusting ourselves that we’ll be OK when someone we love hurts us. Trusting ourselves to do the best we can. Trusting ourselves to never give up hope that tomorrow will be brighter and that even if it's not, we'll patiently wait for our time because we know it's coming.

We must trust that in the end all of our broken hearts, disappointments and the lessons presented are there  for a reason and that they play a purpose in our lives.

That's why I believe that the very best thing we can do for ourselves is this: When someone lets us down, betrays our trust or does something we consider untrustworthy, we forgive them. Understand that they are human too and sometimes they are going to put their needs above ours.

Does that mean we have to stay in a relationship with them? Of course not. We have the rights, indeed the duty, to treat ourselves well. We have to trust ourselves enough to at the very least take care of ourselves. Therefore, sometimes we need to end relationships, friendships, habits, etc. because that's the best thing for us to do.

The only thing we can hope for is that we can trust ourselves enough to do it in the kindest possible way so that we don't destroy the trust of someone else. However, that being said, I also think that when we allow our trust to be destroyed, it is because we have chosen to let that happen. It isn't possible for someone else outside of ourselves to change our minds to such a degree if we don't allow it to happen.

So, do I trust completely? No. Unfortunately, I'm not that naive and innocent anymore. However, I do still trust, even in spite of the fact that we humans are never completely trustworthy. I guess I prefer to look at the glass as half full lest I should miss out on so many wonderful people and interactions if I didn't. So will you.

If you allow life to scar you so deeply, then it suddenly doesn't really seem worth living and what a shame that would be. I've seen people who have let that happen in their lives and I can honestly say that that is nowhere near where I want to be.

So trust me when I say, trust as much as you're personally comfortable with and understand that people will surely let you down from time to time. And sometimes you'll want to hide under your security blanket and refuse to trust again but it just isn't worth it. If you trust yourself to always come out of any situation both wiser and stronger, then the risk is not really that great.

Don't give up on people. Most of them aren't trying to hurt you and the few that are, usually don't matter that much in the journey of your life. So do yourself a favour and let them go. You will only grow stronger for having gone through it and you will really be OK, even if you don't want to be, because that's how life works.